According to TENGA’s 2019 Self-Pleasure Report, most women (37 percent) would rather masturbate alone than have sex — no surprise there. This is drastically different from men who find sex more pleasurable (50 percent).
Compared to women, guys have it easy.
They can do some strokes, some pumps, and boom, they’ve hit the big O! Girls, on the other hand, need a more mind, body, soul connection to hit a home run. It’s just a lot more complicated and the statistics have shown that doing it alone is more gratifying.
After all, reaching climax is not an easy task for most women and many of us put the pressure on ourselves. Girls want to experience an orgasm but are so distressed that they aren’t having one, they can’t reach it. Data shows that “many women don’t experience an orgasm during sexual intercourse until their 20s or even 30s.”
The way media depicts sex and the gaps between expectations and reality place even more of a burden on both males and females. It’s not fair and no one orgasm is the same.
It’s not something that everyone wants to admit, but this same data shows that “the number of women who say that they always or nearly always have [an orgasm] during sex is declining.”
We all want pleasurable, moan-filled, sex, but that’s not what everyone gets. It’s easier to get out of your head when you’re alone. You’re not worried about what you look like, what your partner’s view of you is, what your freaking arms are doing. It’s just you.
Personally, I’ll choose sex with my boyfriend over masturbation any day, but I fully understand the situation.
Masturbation is self-care. It can ease anxiety, release endorphins, improve mood, confidence, health, and productivity. It can even help relationships and increase the chances of a woman orgasming during sex! There really are no downsides.
This doesn’t mean that women don’t want to have sex, though, it just means that women need more attention to get there.
(Sidenote for any and everyone: never ever forget about the clit).
But, depending on how you look at it, these results could be a positive or a negative. For one, the fact that women are taking control of their bodies and finding pleasure is amazing. However, I want women to be fully enjoying sex equally. We need more of this sex where women can be adored, feel confident, and be pleased by sex with a partner.
