Query: My husband does not trust me. He feels insecure when I talk to his male friends. He even feels insecure when I talk to my male colleagues or even male cousins. I am always on my guard whenever I have to talk to a man around him. It’s getting very suffocating. What can I do to make him trust me?
Response by Dr Toby Toby: Hi, thank you for writing to us.
It is understandable how disconcerting this situation may be for you. It’s apparent you feel suffocated by your husband’s behaviour.
If you think your husband does not trust you; it is essential to understand his perspective. What might be causing him to feel this way?
Is there something in past that has led him to believe you cannot be trusted? Or is he simply feeling insecure in the relationship due to his past experiences or conditioning?
Approach the situation by first assessing the core issues through authentic communication. You can try to engage him in conversations about trust to explore what makes him so insecure.
Let him know that you understand why he feels this way, and reassure him that you’re not going to cheat on him. Be honest and openly communicate with each other, and let him know that you’re committed to working through this issue together.
There are many possible reasons why he may be feeling this way. It could be that he has been hurt in the past by someone who was unfaithful or that he has low self-esteem and is afraid of being rejected.
Whatever the reason, it is vital to comprehend his point of view and to reassure him that he has nothing to worry about. This is an important issue to resolve so that the relationship doesn’t become toxic for both of you.
You could avoid talking to other men when he is around or avoid situations where he feels threatened. However, this is not a viable option in the long run.
You can also try to build his confidence through compliments and words of encouragement. Nurture your bond with him and focus on building trust. If you can work together to address his insecurity, it will help improve your relationship in ways more than one.
In any relationship, trust is essential. Without trust, couples often find themselves feeling insecure and resentful.
Spend more time together as a couple. Go out on dates, or just spend time at home relaxing with each other.
This will help strengthen your relationship. Remember, building trust takes time and patience, but by working together, you can make progress towards a more trusting relationship.
By taking the time to cultivate trust, you can help create a stronger and more fulfilling relationship with your husband.
Lastly, I would recommend that if you/your husband cannot process the thoughts, emotions, and uneasiness around the situation, do consider seeking therapy. Don’t shy away from asking for help. I hope this helps!